Act one, scene eight

DREAM, HUT-ON-THE-ROCK

There’s a LARGE BOOM. Then there’s a LARGE CRASH. DUDLEY DURSLEY, AUNT PETUNIA, and UNCLE VERNON are cowering behind a bed.

DUDLEY DURSLEY: Mum, I don’t like this.

AUNT PETUNIA: I knew we made a mistake coming here. Vernon. Vernon. There’s nowhere we can hide. Not even a lighthouse is far enough away!

There’s another LARGE BOOM.

UNCLE VERNON: Hold on. Hold on. Whatever it is, it’s not coming in here.

AUNT PETUNIA: We’re cursed! He’s cursed us! The boy has cursed us! (Seeing YOUNG HARRY.) This is all your fault. Get back in your hole.

YOUNG HARRY flinches away as UNCLE VERNON holds out his rifle.

UNCLE VERNON: Whoever’s there, I should warn you — I’m armed.

There’s a MASSIVE SMASH. And the door falls off its hinges. HAGRID stands in the middle of the doorway. He looks at them all.

HAGRID: Couldn’t make us a cup o’ tea, could yeh? It’s not been an easy journey.

DUDLEY DURSLEY: Look. At. Him.

UNCLE VERNON: Stand back. Stand back. Behind me, Petunia. Behind me, Dudley. I’ll soon see this scarramanger off.

HAGRID: Scarrawhat?

He picks up UNCLE VERNON’s gun.

Haven’t seen one of these for a while.

He twists the end of the gun and ties it in a knot.

Oops-a-daisy.

And then he gets distracted. He’s seen YOUNG HARRY.

Harry Potter.

YOUNG HARRY: Hello.

HAGRID: Las’ time I saw yeh, yeh was only a baby. Yeh look a lot like yer dad, but yeh’ve got yer mum’s eyes.

YOUNG HARRY: You knew my parents?

HAGRID: Where’s me manners? A very happy birthday to yeh. Got summat fer yeh here — I mighta sat on it at some point, but it’ll taste all right.

From inside his coat he pulls a slightly squashed chocolate cake with “Happy Birthday Harry” written on it in green icing.

YOUNG HARRY: Who are you?

HAGRID (laughing): True, I haven’t introduced meself. Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts. (He looks around himself.) What about that tea, then, eh? I’d not say no ter summat stronger if yeh’ve got it, mind.

YOUNG HARRY: Hogwhere?

HAGRID: Hogwarts. Yeh’ll know all about Hogwarts, o’ course.

YOUNG HARRY: Er — no. Sorry.

HAGRID: Sorry? It’s them as should be sorry! I knew yeh weren’t gettin’ yer letters but I never thought yeh wouldn’t even know abou’ Hogwarts, fer cryin’ out loud! Did yeh never wonder where yer parents learnt it all?

YOUNG HARRY: Learnt what?

HAGRID turns menacingly towards UNCLE VERNON.

HAGRID: Do you mean ter tell me, that this boy — this boy! — knows nothin’ abou’ — about ANYTHING?

UNCLE VERNON: I forbid you to tell the boy anything more!

YOUNG HARRY: Tell me what?

HAGRID looks at UNCLE VERNON and then at YOUNG HARRY.

HAGRID: Harry — yer a wizard — yeh changed everything. Yer the most famous wizard in the whole world.

And then, right from the back of the room, whispering around everyone.

Words said with an unmistakable voice. The voice of VOLDEMORT...

Haaarry Pottttter.