Wedding Customs

A lot of remarkable traditions of the Kazakh people find full reflection in wedding customs. The Kazakhs as many other nations had a mystical idea about two people’s joining in a matrimonial union. Usually people say, “it is impossible to foresee three things in our life – a person who is going to marry, the of future child and the date of the death”. People thought that the conjugal union was determined by the destiny long before these tow persons were born. All the process of marrying was divided into several parts. Each of them was accompanied by a certain complex of its traditions and customs. The first part was of course a match making. It started with preliminary arrangement. For this purpose the father of prospective groom sent a matchmaker to the bride’s father. It could be either a close relative or a well-known and respectable man. zharshy in Kazakh. The matchmaker, climbing a horse, tucked one leg of his pants in his high boot while the other leg covered the second boot. This custom showed an ancient national symbolic ritual of braking the usual order in clothing. This fact should inform people that someone specially came with the purpose to change the situation common for a certain family. For the match-making the so called “happy day” was chosen. Wednesdays and Thursdays were quite common for it.

If the girl’s father agreed to the proposal, a special present was given to the coming matchmaker. Its name in Kazakh is shege shapan. This gift had to verify the preliminary contact of the match-making. After a traditional payment, kalym in Kazakh, the groom paid his first official visit to the bride’s settlement – oryn baru and brought some specific gifts – korzhyn (clothes for the bride’s parents and for their relatives), meat and dairy delicatessens, dried fruit and sweets. Besides, the groom tied a horse at the threshold of the yurt.

It was a gift to his future father-in-law. Crossing the steps of the house the groom had to bow tree times. These bows were devoted to the old women living there, and to the bride’s father and mother. The mother of the bride gave him a cup of milk or kumis and blessed him. Then the groom was taken to the fire burning in the centre of the yurt. He was given an iron dipper filled with melted fat which he poured out in the fire.

All people presented there had to step over the flame. This custom is connected with fire worshiping. Women threw dried fruit and other sweets at the groom, because it was a symbol of abundance and prosperity. This custom was called shashu. Then, all people having walked out of the yurt, the young couple stayed alone till the bride’s parents returned. They pretended not to notice the groom. This first arrival of the groom at the bride’s yurt was called esyk ashy which means “to open the door”. The Kazakhs preferred to hold wedding ceremonies for their daughters and sons in autumn or at the end of the summer season. A wedding party was usually made during the full moon period. This choice was not casual. Light nights are very convenient both for traditional wedding games altybakan (swings), asyiek ( a game with a white bone ) and for doing some types of household activity, which could not be done during the daytime because of the wedding party. The presence of childless couples at the wedding ceremony was considered to be undesirable, as they could bewitch the future family’s happiness with evil eye.

They say there is a connection between the day of a wedding and the future destiny of the family. If the weather is nice on the day of the wedding party, the family life of the newlyweds will be happy. The wedding party was usually divided into two parts. First it was held in the bride’s house, then in the place where the groom lived.