CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR

Catherine looked up as the door opened, her eyes brightening as Jake walked through the door, still leaning heavily on her cane. In her left hand, she carried a potted plant.

" Jake! What are you doing here? " Catherine said, getting up quickly to take the plant from Jake.

" How are you, Catherine? "

" I'm good, thanks. You seem to be getting around okay."

" Managing." Jake pointed at the plant. " Thanks for that. It was a pleasure to look at when I was stuck in the hospital." Jake shifted, then leaned against Catherine's desk. " I want you to have it. I'm heading up to my cabin for awhile, and I didn't think it'd make the trip."

" Of course, Jake. When will you be back? "

Jake shook her head. " Don't know yet. Depends." She motioned to Nicole's door. " The doc in? "

" Yes. She and Dr. Peterson are in conference."

Jake nodded. " I see. Well, tell her I stopped by, will you? "

" No! It's just Dr. Peterson. I can interrupt." Catherine quickly picked up the phone, waiting until Nicole answered. " Nicole, Jake is here. Do you have a minute? " Catherine smiled and nodded, looking up at Jake. " She said for you to go right in."

" Thanks."

Jake moved steadily across the carpet, fear more than pain slowing her pace. She'd almost driven out of town without seeing Nicole but at the last second, she turned, heading to downtown, wanting to at least say goodbye. In the last three weeks, they'd talked a couple of times on the phone. That was all.

As soon as she reached for the door, it jerked open, and Nicole stood there, a smile on her face.

" Jake! What a surprise, " she said, holding the door open.

" I hope I'm not interrupting."

" Of course not. Come in." She pointed to the older woman sitting on her sofa. " Jake, this is Dr. Peterson, a colleague." She looked at Dorothy. " This is Detective McCoy."

The older woman rose and walked to Jake, offering her hand. " A real pleasure, Detective. I understand we have you to thank for Nicole's safety."

Jake raised an eyebrow. " Just doing my job." Jake looked at Nicole, noting her amused expression. " You got a minute? "

" Of course. Dorothy, we'll continue this later? "

" Sure. Call me." She nodded at Jake. " Nice to finally meet you."

" Thanks."

Nicole closed the door, leaning against it as she watched Jake. " In the neighborhood? "

" No, not really, " Jake admitted. She turned, leaning on her cane as she surveyed the office. It looked as she remembered-- neat, organized, and blinds raised to let in the afternoon sun. " Actually, I came to say goodbye."

Nicole shoved off the wall. " What do you mean? "

" Cheyenne and I are moving to my cabin."

" Moving? For good? "

Jake shrugged. " Most likely. Rick's moved to my place since they're selling their house, so I don't have to worry about that. He's just going to pick up my lease."

Nicole struggled to find words. " But... but why? "

" Well, it saves him having to find a place."

Nicole shook her head. " That's not what I mean, and you know it."

Jake shifted her weight, still leaning on her cane. A part of her wanted to tell Nicole the truth, that she was leaving to get away from her feelings, having convinced herself that once she was at the cabin, she'd realize that what she felt for Nicole wasn't really love, it was just a physical attraction that got away from them. But of course, she'd never been one to share her feelings easily, and there was really no need to start now.

" The cabin's home. You've seen my place here, you know that. Besides, I'll never be at full strength, so I'm going to take the disability this time."

" And do what? "

" Rehab up there, then... I don't know. I'll find something to keep me busy." She tried to smile. " I'll have a lot of time to soak in the hot springs."

Nicole met her eyes, hoping Jake didn't see the panic in her own. Despite her vow to end things, she was scared about Jake leaving. Worse, she was terrified of the possibility of never seeing Jake again. " But Jake, are you strong enough now? I mean, just you and Cheyenne? Anything could happen."

" Worried about me? "

" Yes, actually."

Jake looked away. " I'll be fine. It's my second go-round, you know."

Nicole took a deep breath. " This is just a shock, I guess."

Jake lowered her head. " Nicole, it's not like we've seen much of each other the last month. You won't even know I'm gone."

Nicole felt the pain in her heart, and she tried hard to conceal it. " I'll know you're gone."

Their eyes met, and Jake tried desperately to read Nicole's, hoping to find some sign that Jake was important to her, that she cared for her. But the blue eyes that met her own were nearly expressionless, as if it wasn't the same Nicole. And of course, it wasn't. This Nicole was decked out in a dark suit and pumps, even her makeup was impeccable. No, this wasn't her Nicole.

" Anyway, I just stopped off to say goodbye and to wish you well." Jake moved toward the door, hoping to make a graceful exit. " Take care of yourself, Nicole."

Nicole finally moved, walking to Jake. " Take care of yourself, too." She leaned closer and gently placed a kiss on Jake's cheek. " I'll never forget you, " she murmured, before turning away, hiding her eyes from Jake.

Jake escaped before she embarrassed herself totally by the tears that were threatening to fall. She knocked lightly on Catherine's desk as she passed, not stopping to look at her. " See you around, kiddo."

" Bye, Jake."

Once safely inside the elevator, Jake allowed her emotions to take over, and the tears flowed by the time she walked out into the cold November day.

Nicole covered her mouth, trying to keep back her tears. She walked to the window, staring down at the street, looking for Jake and not finding her.

" Oh, God, " she murmured, finally giving in to her pain and letting her tears fall unchecked down her face. Her hands were shaking badly as she fumbled in her desk drawer for a tissue. Was she making a mistake by letting Jake walk out of her life?

She knew it was totally her decision. She could see that in Jake's eyes. After all, she was the one who had simply stopped seeing Jake, stopped going to the hospital, stopped calling her. But as Dorothy had said, it was time to get her life back to normal, her practice back to normal. And as long as she continued to see Jake, continued to pretend they might have a future together, then nothing would be normal.

Then why does it hurt so much? Because you're in love with her.

" No, " she murmured as she blew her nose. No, no, she wasn't in love with her. At least she'd held on to her sanity enough not to do something as foolish as that. No, she would be fine. Jake was gone, and Nicole had to move on. In fact, the dinner party at Irene's tonight would be the perfect cure for her heavy heart. And of course, Irene had a new attorney friend she wanted Nicole to meet.

So, she cleared her throat and squared her shoulders, wondering how badly her makeup was damaged. It wouldn't do for Catherine to see her tears. Despite her earlier assumptions that Deb Fisher was her type, Nicole knew Catherine adored Jake, knew that she thought Jake was... was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

Nicole closed her eyes for a moment, remembering Jake's gentle touch and her torrid lovemaking. Unconsciously, she brought her right hand to her chest, rubbing lightly against her heart.