CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Carly was dreading the trip to Corpus. She'd made up excuses in her mind to call Pat and cancel. But, she had to meet the printers. And Pat had the prints.

Now, as she sat on the ferry and crossed Aransas Bay, nervousness set in. She wanted to be angry with Pat. In fact, when she'd gotten up that morning, she was angry. But as the hours passed, so did her anger. It wasn't fair to blame Pat. She knew nothing of her past. She didn't know that Carly had vowed to never give herself to another soul ever again.

Oh, but that kiss. The more she thought about it, the longer it lasted. And it was never long enough.

" Shit."

She drove off the ferry, grabbing her scribbled directions. She found the streets with ease, finally pulling up behind Pat's Jeep. Before she could get out, Pat bounded down the stairs. Shorts today. Great. Just what I need. Those long legs tempting me. Carly noted that Pat had her sweatpants in her hands, neatly folded.

" Hi, " Pat greeted. She slammed the door and Carly backed out without saying a word. " Beautiful day, isn't it? I never thought we'd see the sun again."

Carly kept her mouth closed. She could at least pretend to be angry.

" Flu symptoms haven't set in, in case you were worried, " Pat offered.

Carly only nodded.

" Oh, please. You can't possibly still be mad about last night."

" I most certainly can."

" That was hours ago. You have to actually work at being mad for that long."

Carly suppressed a smile. Just barely.

" It wasn't really a kiss, you know, " Pat continued. " When I really kiss you, you'll know."

" That was your one and only chance."

" Now you don't really believe that, do you? "

Carly paused at the light. " Which way? "

" Next light. Go left."

They were driving the length of the island, the gulf on one side, the bay on the other. In the distance, they could see the high-rises of Corpus Christi.

" Are you going to tell me? " Pat asked.

" Tell you what? "

" Tell me what happened to you."

" What are you talking about? "

" Someone's hurt you. Tell me about it."

" You have got some balls, you know that."

Pat laughed and glanced down between her legs. " No, I don't. Trust me. No balls. Now tell me."

" I will not. It's...painful."

" That's why you need to tell me."

" Are you always like this? "

" Yes."

Carly gripped the steering wheel hard. Shit. Maybe she should tell Pat. Maybe then Pat would know why Carly was off-limits.

" I met her in college. I was in my last year and we had a biology class together. She had always dreamed of being a veterinarian, however biology and chemistry were not her strong points. They were mine. I ended up tutoring her."

" And ended up in bed? "

Carly glanced at Pat quickly, then back at the road. " If it were only that simple, " she said. " She was my first. She was...beautiful, really. Athletic. A people magnet. I fell head over heels. We spent every spare minute together. Finally bought a house. I was paying for school out of a trust my grandfather had given me. Carol didn't have time to work, she struggled with her classes as it were. So, I pretty much took care of all the expenses. About a year and a half later, I got a job in Austin. I moved into this tiny apartment and drove back on weekends. We decided that we should share the driving, so I bought her a new car, since she would be making the trip to Austin every other weekend. That worked out fine for awhile, but then her driving was cutting into her studying, so I ended up making the trip most often. But still, it was working out. I helped her with her classes when I could, I cooked on the weekends so she would have as little to do as possible. She was barely hanging on as it was. But she made it. When she graduated, I was so proud of her. I took off work on that Friday and drove up early. I was going to surprise her. I found a U-Haul truck in the driveway and most of my furniture inside it. I found her in the kitchen. She was laughing with this other woman when I walked in. She then introduced me to her girlfriend."

Pat was quiet. She didn't have any witty comment to make to ease the tension in the Jeep.

" I was...floored. I mean, I had absolutely no idea. They had been seeing each other for almost two years. She had a job waiting in Dallas. She was packing to move."

" So, the furniture, it was hers? "

" No. I paid for it all. Like I said, she didn't work. I was just too stunned to argue. I think I was actually in a state of shock. The worst part was how she laughed at me. She said, ‘Did you really think that someone like me could be with someone like you? '" Carly glanced again at Pat. " The only thing I took that to mean was that she was this beautiful woman and I was a homely looking bookworm."

" Bookworm, maybe. But homely? No, you'd have to wear dark-rimmed glasses for that look, " Pat teased. In fact, she found Carly to be beautiful. Her short blonde hair, although always unruly, framed a smooth, clear face. And those sea-green eyes, Pat loved looking into them.

" She said, “Face it, Carly, I needed you to get through college. I'm sorry you thought there was more to it.'"

" Talk about balls, " Pat said.

" So, Carol left that day with her girlfriend driving the U-Haul and she waved at me through the window of the car that I bought for her, " Carly said. " And I wanted to die." This time, when she looked at Pat, compassionate blue eyes stared back at her. " I felt lifeless. I wanted to make that a reality. It seemed the only way to make the hurt go away."

Pat reached over and took her hand, folding it warmly between her two larger ones.

" I had sleeping pills. And a bottle of whiskey."

Pat trembled at the words, spoken so softly, but clearly.

" But my mother called. She was checking up on me. She told me what a wonderful daughter I was and how proud she was. They never knew about Carol until that night. I stayed on the phone several hours, pouring it all out. My mother was wonderful. I took a leave from work and spent a week in Corpus with them. I got past the hardest part while in the company of my family. Even my brothers were so supportive."

" I'm glad your mother called you that night. What would this day be if you weren't here? "

Carly smiled and squeezed Pat's hand before reclaiming her own.

" Thank you. So, there's my horrid little story. The devastation of a broken heart. And why I will never, ever do that again."

" You said she was your first? "

" Yes."

" So, all these years, there's been no one? "

" No."

" But, I mean, surely you get lonely. Surely your body needs attention occasionally, " Pat said.

" Yes. There have been a couple of occasions where I've gotten smashed and went home with strangers. It's not something I'm proud of. I didn't even know their names."

" And Carol? I assume you never saw her again? "

" No."

Pat nodded. " Thank you for telling me. But luckily for you, I'm not anything like Carol. I already have a car."

" Pat..." Carly warned.

" But we do have one thing in common, " she said. " I suck at chemistry and biology, too."

At this, Carly laughed.

" Good. A smile. Because you're absolutely gorgeous when you smile." When Carly would have protested, Pat spoke again. " I brought the film from yesterday. We can drop it off before we go to the printers and pick it up on the way back. That way, if there are any good shots, we can always add it to the brochure later, " she suggested.

So, just like that, the subject of Carol was closed. As it should be, Carly thought.

" Okay. Tell me where to go."