Chapter eighteen. Taylor tried hard to keep her chin up, knowing that leaving the ball in Melanie's court was the only reasonable way to handle the situation

TAYLOR TRIED HARD to keep her chin up, knowing that leaving the ball in Melanie's court was the only reasonable way to handle the situation. She thought Monday had been the longest day of her life until she got to Tuesday without a call or visit from Melanie. Several times, she'd picked up the phone, prepared to dial the redhead's number, only to have the little voice inside tell her not to push, let her come to you.

By Wednesday, she was miserable.

She split all her energy between two emotions: depression and anger. When she wasn't on the verge of tears, she was snapping the heads off people who were stupid enough to simply ask her a question. Before long, not only was she being avoided by Melanie, her coworkers were steering clear, too.

She was alone in her cubicle Wednesday evening. It was after five and most of the staff had gone home for the night. When the phone shrilled loudly, Taylor snatched it up immediately, annoyed at the startling sound it made.

" Taylor Rhodes, " she said curtly.

" Hi, Tay. I can't believe I finally got you."

Fuck. Taylor shut her eyes, praying for a lightning bolt to strike her dead and put her out of her misery. " Hello, Maggie, " she said carefully, keeping her tone noncommittal.

" I've been trying to call you for over a week."

" Really."

" Doesn't your voicemail work? If I didn't know better, I'd think you were avoiding me."

Taylor could picture her ex-lover, twisting the phone cord around her finger, waiting for the answer she wanted...the answer she expected, truthful or not. Taylor had learned the hard way that playing Maggie's game, telling her what she wanted to hear, was often worse than telling her the truth. Besides that, Taylor was hardly in the mood to play.

She sighed, saying simply, " I've been busy, Maggie."

" Busy? " Maggie's voice could be sweet. Sexy, even. Now, it held a combination of hurt and anger. " Too busy to return a friend's phone calls? "

I am NOT in the mood for this, Taylor thought, her irritation mounting. " Look, Maggie, I'm buried here. I've got to go, okay? "

" Why won't you at least talk to me? " Taylor could hear the tears beginning, an inevitable occurrence during their last few months together.

" Mags, please, just let it go." She rubbed slowly at the throbbing ache that had set in behind her eyes. " I really don't want to get into this again with you."

" I don't understand why you gave up on us, Tay. I really don't. I told you I could change. You bailed on me."

" I bailed on you? " Taylor repeated incredulously. " Trust me, Maggie, you don't want to go down this path with me right now."

Instead of a warning, Maggie took that as a challenge. " Oh, really. And why not? Because you can't face the fact that you couldn't handle the normal pressures of a grownup relationship? "

" Normal pressures? " Taylor had been through this very discussion with Maggie dozens of times, and had always been able to sugar-coat her comments to keep from cutting too deeply. She'd always felt protective of Maggie, even during their break-up. This time, however, Taylor could feel her control sifting rapidly through her fingers like so many grains of sand. " Normal pressures? " she repeated. " One half of the relationship being a falling-down drunk is not considered a normal pressure, Maggie."

" You left when I needed you the most, " Maggie whispered pathetically.

" Jesus Christ. I don't believe you're still pulling this shit. I will not let you make me feel guilty. Not any more. I'm done."

" There's somebody else, isn't there? " The whisper was gone, replaced by a hard edge.

Taylor rolled her eyes. It was just like the last time they'd had this conversation. What, does she have a script? she thought to herself.

She heaved a deep breath, tired beyond words. " Yup. Yup, there is. You're right, Maggie. There's somebody else. Happy now? Is that what you wanted to hear? That I'm fucking somebody else? Well, I am. You're right. My leaving had nothing to do with your alcohol problem. I left you because I had myself a babe on the side. Satisfied? Now, will you get yourself some help and leave me the hell alone? " She slammed down the receiver, immediately shocked at her own brutal words. She'd never purposely tried to hurt somebody like that before, but her own pain was so close to the surface, she felt no alternative but to strike out at anybody trying to hurt her further.

The phone rang again and she watched it until her voicemail picked it up.

She had been inexcusably cruel to somebody she had once adored.

Melanie hadn't called. Again.

She covered her face with her hands as silent tears slid from beneath her closed eyelids.