Chapter 42

THE BUCKETFUL of COLD water on his naked flesh barely revived him. He only dimly saw the little rivers of water that were stained bright red as they ran away from him in the cracks of the stone floor his face lay against. Each shallow breath he took was a mighty effort. He wondered idly how many of his ribs she had broken.

" Put your clothes on. We're leaving, " she called down to him.

" Yes, Mistress Denna, " he whispered, his voice so hoarse from screaming he knew she couldn't hear him, and knew she would hurt him for not answering, and yet he could do no more.

'When the Agiel didn't come, he moved a little, saw his boot and reached out to it, pulling it to him. He sat up, but couldn't raise his head above his shoulders. It hung limply. With great difficulty, he started putting on his boot. Gashes on his feet brought tears to his eyes when he pulled.

Her knee to his jaw knocked him flat on his back. She fell on him, sitting on his chest, hitting his face with her fists.

" What's the matter with you! Are you stupid? Your pants go on before your boots! Do I have to tell you everything! " " Yes Mistress Denna, no Mistress Denna,.forgive me Mistress Denna, thank you Mistress Denna for hurting me, thank you Mistress Denna for teaching me, " he mumbled.

She sat on his chest, panting in rage. Her breathing slowed after a time.

" Come on. I will help you." She leaned over and kissed him. " Come on, my love. You'll be able to rest while we travel."

" Yes, Mistress Denna." The sound of his voice was hardly more than a breath.

She kissed him again. " Come on, my love. It will be better, now that I have broken you. You will see."

A closed carriage stood waiting for them in the dark. Clouds from the horses' breath rose and drifted slowly in the cold, still air. Richard stumbled a few times as he walked behind her, trying to keep the proper slack to the chain. He had absolutely no idea how long it had been since she had decided he was to be her mate, nor did it matter to him. A guard opened the carriage door.

Denna tossed the end of his chain on the floor. " Get in."

Richard grabbed the sides of the door. He dimly heard someone approach in a huff. Derma gave a little tug to the chain, indicating she wanted him to wait where he was.

" Denna! " It was the Queen, at the head of her advisors.

" Mistress Denna, " she corrected.

The Queen looked to be in a foul mood. " Where do you think you are going with him? "

" That is none of your concern. It is time we were on our way. How is the Princess? "

The Queen glowered. " We don't know if she will live. I will be taking the Seeker. He is to pay."

" The Seeker is the property of myself and of Master Rahl. He is being punished, and will continue to be punished until either Master Rahl, or myself, kills him. There is nothing you could do to him that could equal what is already being done."

" He is to be executed. Right now."

Denna's voice was as cold as the night air. " Go back to your castle, Queen Milena, while you still have a castle: "

Richard saw a knife in the Queen's hand. The guard standing next to him unhooked his battle-axe, gripping it tightly in his fist. There was a crystal clear moment of silence

The Queen backhanded Denna and lunged with the knife for Richard. Denna effortlessly caught her with the Agiel against her large chest.

As the guard went past him, raising the axe to Denna, the strange power roared awake. Richard summoned all his strength, became one with the power. He hooked his left arm around the guard's throat and drove his knife home. Denna gave a casual glance back as the man let out a death scream. She smiled, and her eyes glided back to the Queen, who stood shaking, paralyzed in place, the Agiel between her breasts. Denna gave a twist to the Agiel. The Queen dropped straight down in a heap.

Denna turned her glare to the Queen's advisors. " The Queen's heart has given out." She arched an eyebrow. " Unexpectedly. Please express my condolence to the people of Tamarang on the death of their ruler. I would suggest you find a new ruler who is more attentive to the wishes of Master Rahl."

They all gave a quick bow. The awakened power flickered and was gone. The effort of stopping the guard had taken all the strength Richard had left. His shaking legs would no longer hold him. The ground tilted and came up to meet him.

Denna grabbed his chair near the collar, raising his head off the ground. " I didn't tell you to lie down! You were not given permission! On your feet! "

He couldn't move. She drove the Agiel into his stomach, dragged it up his chest, to his throat. Richard convulsed in pain, but could not make his body respond to her wishes.

" Sorry..." he breathed.

She let his head drop to the ground when she realized he wasn't able to move and turned to the guards. " Put him inside."

She climbed in after him, yelling up to- the driver to be off, and pulled the door shut. Richard slumped back as the carriage jerked ahead.

" Please, Mistress Denna, " he said in a slur, " forgive me for letting you down, for failing to stand as you wished. I'm sorry. I will do better in the future. Please punish me to teach me to be better."

She gripped the chain, close to the collar, her knuckles white; lifting him from the seat back. Her lips curled a sneer over gritted teeth. " Don't you dare die on me now, not yet; you have things to do first."

His eyes were closed. " As you command... Mistress Denna."

She let go of the chain, took his shoulders, laid him across the seat, and gave him a kiss on his forehead. " You have my permission to rest now, my love. It's a long way. You will have a long time to rest, before it starts again."

Richard felt her fingers smoothing his hair back and the bouncing of the carriage as it sped along the road, and fell asleep.

From time to time, he came partly awake, never fully conscious. Sometimes Denna sat next to him, letting him lean against her as she spooned food into his mouth. Swallowing was painful, almost more effort than he could bring forth. He winced with each spoonful, his hunger not sufficient to overcome the pain in his throat, and he turned his head from the spoon. Denna murmured encouragement to him, urging him to eat for her. Doing it for her was the only thing he responded to.

Whenever a bump in the road brought him awake suddenly, he would clutch at her for protection, safety, until she told him it was nothing, and to go back to sleep. He knew that sometimes he slept on the ground, sometimes in the carriage. He saw nothing of the countryside they traveled through, nor did he care. As long as she was near him, that was all that mattered; nothing else was important, except being ready to do as she commanded. A few times, he slowly came awake to find her wedged into the corner with him stretched out, his cloak tucked around him, his head on her breast, as she stroked his hair. When it happened, he tried not to let her know he was awake, so she wouldn't stop.

When this happened, and he felt the warm comfort of her, he also felt the power in him come awake. He didn't try to reach it, to hold it; he only noted it. One time when it happened, he recognized it, knew what it was. It was the magic of the sword.

As he lay against her, feeling the need of her, the magic stood within him. He touched it, fondled it, felt its power. It was like the power he had called forth when he was going to kill with the sword, but different in a way he couldn't understand. The power he had known before, he could no longer feel. Denna had that power now, but this she didn't. When he tried to grasp the magic, it vanished, like vapor. A dim part of his mind wanted its help, but since he couldn't control it, call it forth to aid him, he lost interest in it.

As the time passed, his wounds began healing over. Each time he came awake he was a little more alert. By the time Denna announced that they had arrived at their destination, he was able to stand by himself, although he was still not completely clearheaded.

In the darkness, she led him from the carriage. He watched her feet as she walked, keeping the proper slack in the chain attached to her belt. Even though he kept his eyes on her, he still noticed the place they were entering. It was immense, dwarfing the castle at Tamarang. Walls stretched off into the nothingness of the distance, towers and roofs rose to dizzying heights. He was aware enough to note that the design of the vast structure was elegant and graceful. It was imposing, but not harsh, not forbidding.

Denna led him through halls of polished marble and granite. Columns held majestic arches to the sides. As they walked on and on, he noticed how his strength had grown. He wouldn't have been able to stand for this long even a few days ago.

They saw no other people. Richard looked up at her braid, and thought about how pretty her hair was, how lucky he was to have such a fine mate. At the thought of his caring for her, the power rose up. Before it had a chance to fade, the dim, locked-away part of his mind grabbed it, held it, while the rest of his mind thought about his affection for her. The realization that he had control of it made him stop thinking about her, and grab the hope of escape. The power evaporated.

His heart sank. What did it matter, he thought; he was never going to escape, and why would he want to anyway? He was Denna's mate. Where would he go? What would he do without her to tell him what to do?

Denna went through a door, closing it behind him. A window with a pointed top was trimmed with simple drapes and open to the darkness outside. There was a bed with a thick blanket and fat pillows. The floor was polished wood. Lamps stood lit on the table next to the bed, and on the table with a chair on the other side of the room. There were cabinets of dark wood built into one wall next to another door. A stand held a basin and pitcher

Denna unhooked his chain. " These are my quarters. Since you are my mate, you will be permitted to sleep here if you please me." She hooked the loop over the post of the footboard, snapped her fingers, and pointed at the floor at the foot of the bed. " You may sleep there tonight. On the floor."

He looked at the floor. The Agiel laid on the top of his shoulder took him to his knees.

" I said on the floor. Now."

" Yes Mistress Denna. I'm sorry Mistress Denna."

" I'm exhausted. I don't want to hear another sound out of you tonight. Understand? "

He nodded, afraid to voice his agreement.

" Good." She flopped facedown in the bed and was asleep in moments.

Richard rubbed the hurt in his shoulder. It had been a while since she had used the Agiel on him. At least she hadn't chosen to draw blood. Maybe, he reasoned, she didn't want blood in her quarters. No, Denna liked his blood. He lay down on the floor. He knew that tomorrow she was going to hurt him some more. He tried not to think about it; he was just getting healed from before.

He was awake before her; the shock of being awakened by the Agiel was something he wanted to avoid. A bell rang with a long peal. Denna woke, lay on her back awhile, saying nothing, then sat up, checking that he was awake.

" Morning devotions, " she announced. " That was the bell, the call. After devotions, you will be trained."

" Yes, Mistress Denna."

She hooked his chain to her belt and led him once more through the halls to a square, open to the, sky, with pillars supporting arches on all four sides. The center of the square, under the open sky, was white sand, raked in concentric lines around a dark, pitted rock. On the top of the rock was a bell-the one he had heard before. On the tile floor among the columns were people on their knees, bent forward, with their foreheads touching the tile.

The people chanted in unison. " Master Rahl guide us. Master Rahl teach us. Master Rahl protect us. In your light we thrive. In your mercy we are sheltered. In your wisdom we are humbled. We live only to serve. Our lives are yours."

Over and over they chanted the same thing. Denna snapped her fingers, pointing at the floor. Richard kneeled down, imitating the others. Denna kneeled next to him, putting her forehead to the tiles. She started chanting in unison with the others, but stopped when she _ heard he wasn't.

" That's two hours." She frowned darkly at him. " If I have to remind you again, it's six."

" Yes, Mistress Denna."

He began chanting along. He had to concentrate on a vision of Denna's braid to be able to say the words without bringing on the pain of the magic. He wasn't sure how long the chanting lasted, but he thought it was about two hours. His back hurt from bending with his head to the floor. The words never varied. After a time they melted into the sound of gibberish, feeling like mush in his mouth.

The bell rang twice, and the people rose to their feet, going off in different directions. Denna rose. Richard stayed, where he was, unsure of what to do. He knew he might get in trouble for staying where he was, but knew if he got up and wasn't supposed to, the punishment would be much worse. He heard footsteps coming toward them, but didn't look up.

A woman's husky voice spoke. " Sister Denna, how good to see you've returned. D'Hara has been lonely without you."

D'Hara! Through the fog of his training, the word ignited his thoughts. Instantly, he brought to mind the vision of Denna's braid, protecting him.

" Sister Constance. It's good to be home, and see your face again."

Richard recognized the ring of sincerity in Denna's voice. The Agiel touched the back of his neck, taking his breath away. It felt as if a rope were tightening around his throat. By the way it was held, he knew it wasn't Denna's.

" And what have we here? " Constance asked.

She took the Agiel away. Coughing in pain, Richard gasped for air. He came to his feet when Denna told him to do so, wishing he could hide behind her. Constance was a good head shorter than Denna, her stout figure dressed in a leather outfit like Denna's, only brown. Her dull brown hair was done in a braid, too, but didn't have the fullness of Denna's. The look on her face made it seem she had just eaten something she didn't like.

Denna gave his stomach an easy slap with the back of her hand. " My new mate."

" Mate." Constance spat the word out as if it tasted bitter. " I swear, Denna, I'll never understand how you can bear to take a mate. The thought of it gives me a stomach ache. So, the Seeker, I see by his sword. Quite a catch, anyway. It must have been difficult."

Denna smiled smugly. " He only killed two of my men, before he turned his magic on me." The look of shock on Constance's face made Denna laugh. " He's from Westland."

Constance's eyebrows went up. " No! " She peered into Richard's eyes. " Is he broken? "

" Yes, " Denna said, sighing. " But he still gives me reason to smile. It's only the morning devotion, and already he's earned two hours."

A grin spread on Constance's face. " Mind if I come along? "

Denna gave her a warm smile. " You know that anything that is mine, is yours also, Constance. In fact, you will be my second."

Constance seem pleased, and proud. Richard had to furiously think of Denna's braid as the edges of the anger burned to get away from him.

Denna leaned closer to her friend. " In fact, for you only, if you wish to borrow him for a night, I would not object." Constance stiffened with displeasure. Denna laughed. " Never try, never know."

Constance scowled. ".`I will have my pleasure from his flesh in other ways. I'll go change into the red, and meet you there."

" No... the brown is fine, for now." Constance studied her face. " That's not like you, Denna."

" I have my reasons. Besides, Master Rahl himself sent me for this one." `

" Master Rahl himself. As you wish, then. After all, he is yours to do with as you will."

The training room was a simple square with walls and floor of gray granite and a beamed ceiling. On the way in, Constance tripped him. He landed on his face. Before he could stop it, the anger gripped him. She stood over him, pleased with herself, watching him struggle to regain control.

Denna attached a device to him that held his wrists and elbows tightly together behind his back. It was hooked to a rope that ran through a pulley in the ceiling, and was tied off at the wall. She hoisted him up until he had to stand on his toes before she tied the rope off at the wall. The pain in his shoulders was excruciating, making it hard to breathe, and she hadn't even touched the Agiel to him yet. He was helpless, off balance, and in agony before she even started. His mood sank.

Denna sat in a chair against the wall, telling Constance to enjoy herself. When Denna had trained him, she often had a smile on her face. Constance never smiled once. She went about her work like an ox at a plow, strands of hair coming loose, and in no time her face was covered with a sheen of sweat. She never varied the touch of her Agiel. It was always the same, always hard, harsh, angry. Richard didn't have to anticipate; there was no pause. She worked with rhythmic timing, never giving him a rest. But she didn't draw blood. Denna had a constant smile on her face as she sat with the chair leaned against the wall. At last Constance stopped, Richard panting, groaning.

" He can take it well. I haven't had a workout like this in quite a time. All the pets I've gotten lately fold at the first touch."

The chair came down on its front legs with a clunk. " Maybe I can help, Sister Constance. Let me show you where he doesn't like it."

Derma came up behind him and paused, making him flinch in expectation of what didn't come. Just as he breathed out, the Agiel drove into a tender spot on the right side. He cried out as she held the pressure against him. He couldn't hold his weight, and the rope pulled his shoulders so hard he thought his arms would come out of their sockets. With a sneer, Denna held the Agiel to him until he started crying.

" Please, Mistress Denna, " he sobbed. " Please."

She withdrew the Agiel. " See? "

Constance shook her head. " I wish I had your talent, Denna."

" Here is another place." She made him scream. " And here, and here too." She came around and smiled to him. " You don't mind if I show Constance all your special little places, do you? "

" Please, Mistress Denna, don't. It hurts too much.".

" There, you see? He doesn't mind at all."

She went back to her chair as tears ran down his face. Constance never smiled; she simply went to work, and also had him begging breathlessly. But the way she never varied the pressure, never letting up, was worse than Denna. She never gave him a moment to rest. Richard learned to fear her touch more than he feared Denna's. Denna had an odd compassion at times. Constance never did. When it was beyond a certain point, Denna would tell her to stop, wait a moment, and guide her so as not to cripple him. Constance complied with her wishes and let Denna direct the way she wanted him hurt.

" You don't have to stay, Denna, if you have things to do. I won't mind."

Fear and panic raced through his mind. He didn't want to be left alone with Constance. He knew that Constance wanted to do things to him that Denna didn't want done. He didn't know what they were, but he feared them.

" Another time, I will leave you alone with him... to do things your way, but today, I will stay."

Richard made sure he showed no sign that he was relieved. Constance went back to work.

After a while longer, when she was behind him, Constance grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked his head back, hard. Richard knew very well what it meant to have his head pulled back in this manner. He remembered the pain of what she was about to do. The pain of having the Agiel in his ear. He shook uncontrollably, couldn't breathe with the fear of it.

Denna came out of her chair. " Don't do that, Constance."

Constance gritted her teeth as she looked at him, pulling his head back harder. " Why not? Surely you've done it? "

" Yes, I just don't want you to, that's all. Master Rahl hasn't talked to him yet. I don't want to take any chances."

A grin came to Constance's face. " Denna, let's do it together, at the same time. You and me. Like we used to."

" I told you, Master Rahl wants to talk to him."

" After that? " Denna smiled. " It has been a long time since I've heard that scream." She looked to Richard's eyes. " If Master Rahl doesn't kill him, and he doesn't die first from... from other things, then, yes, we will do it to him. All right? But not now. And Constance, please respect my wishes, about using the Agiel in his ear? "

Constance nodded and released his hair. " Don't you think you have gotten off easy." She scowled at him. " Sooner or later, you and I will be alone, and then I will take my pleasure from you."

" Yes, Mistress Constance, " he whispered hoarsely.

After they were finished training him, they went to lunch. Richard followed behind, the chain hooked to Denna's belt. The dining hall was tasteful in its simple style of frame and panel oak over a white marble floor. There was the soft murmur of conversation at the various tables as people ate. Denna snapped her fingers as she sat, pointing at the floor behind her chair. Servers brought food to the two Mord-Sith, but none for Richard. Lunch was a hearty-looking soup, cheese, brown bread, and fruit. The good smells drove Richard to distraction. There was no meat served. Halfway through her meal, Denna turned and told him that he would get no lunch, for having earned two hours that morning. She said that if he behaved himself, he would get dinner.

The afternoon was spent at devotions, and after that, several hours of training. Denna and Constance shared the task. Richard did his best to do nothing wrong, and at dinner was rewarded with a bowl of rice with vegetables over it. After dinner were more devotions and more training, until at last they left Constance and returned to Denna's quarters, Richard dead tired and stooping because of pain as he walked.

" I wish a bath, " she said. She showed him the room adjoining hers. It was small; empty of everything except a rope holding the binding device from the ceiling, and a bathing tub in the corner. She told him the room was for training if he needed it on the spot and she didn't want blood in her room, and for when she wanted to leave him hanging all night. She promised him he would be spending a great deal of time in the little room.

She had him drag the tub to the foot of her bed. He took the bucket from the tub and was instructed where to go for hot water. He was to speak to no one, even if spoken to, and he was to run, there and back, so her bathwater wouldn't get cold before the tub was filled. She told him that if he didn't follow her instructions exactly while out of her sight, the pain of the magic would take him down, and if she had to come looking for him, he would be very sorry he had disappointed her. He swore his solemn oath to do as she commanded. The place where the hot water came from, a hot spring in a pool surrounded by white marble seats, was a goodly distance. He was sweating and exhausted by the time he had the tub filled.

While she sat soaking in the tub Richard scrubbed her back, brushed her hair out, and helped her wash it.

Denna draped her arms over the sides of the tub, put her head back, and closed her eyes, relaxing, while he knelt next to her, in case she wanted anything. " You don't like Constance, do you? "

Richard didn't know how to answer. He didn't want to say anything bad about her friend, but lying would get him punished, too. " I am... afraid of her, Mistress Denna."

Denna smiled with her eyes still closed. " Clever answer, my love. You aren't trying to be flip, are you? "

" No, Mistress Denna. I told you the truth."

" Good. You should be afraid of her. She hates men. Every time she kills one, she cries out the name of the man who first broke her, Rastin. Remember I told you about the man who broke me, took me for his mate, and that later I killed him? Before he broke me, he was Constance's trainer. His name was Rastin. It was he who broke her. Constance is the one who told me how I could kill him. I would do anything for her. And because I killed the man she hated so, she would do anything for me."

" Yes, Mistress Denna. But Mistress Denna, please don't leave me alone with her? "

" I suggest you be very attentive to your duties. If you are, and you do not earn too much time, I will remain when she is training-you. You see? You see how lucky you are to have a kind mistress? "

" Yes, Mistress Denna, thank you for teaching me. You are a gifted teacher." She opened one eye, as if to check his face for a trace of a smirk. There was none.

" Get me a towel, and lay my nightclothes on the table by the bed."

Richard helped towel her hair dry. Denna didn't put on her nightclothes, but lay back on the bed with her damp hair spread out on the pillow.

" Go blow out the lamp on the table over there." He went immediately and blew out the flame. " Bring me the Agiel, my love."

Richard flinched. He hated it when she had him fetch the Agiel; touching it hurt. Fearing the result of hesitation more, he gritted his teeth and snatched it up, holding it in the open palms of his hands. The pain of it vibrated in his elbows and shoulders. He could hardly wait for her to take it. She had propped up the pillows against the headboard and was sitting up a little, watching him. He let out a deep breath when she picked it out of his hand.

" Mistress Denna, why doesn't it hurt you to touch it? "

" It does, same as you. It hurts me to touch it because it is the one used to train me."

His eyes opened wide. " You mean, the whole time you hold it, it hurts you? The whole time you are training me? "

She nodded, rolling it in her fingers, looking away from his eyes for a second. She gave him a little frown and smile. " There is rarely a time I am without pain, of one kind or another. That is one reason the training of a Mord-Sith takes years-to learn to handle the pain. I guess it's also why only women are Mord-Sith; men are too weak. The chain around my wrist allows me to let it hang; it doesn't hurt when it hangs by the chain. But while I use it on someone, it causes constant pain."

" I never knew." Richard's insides knotted in anguish. " I'm sorry, Mistress Denna. I'm sorry it hurts you, that you must suffer to teach me."

" Pain can bring pleasure all its own, my love. That's one of the things I'm teaching you. And it's time for another lesson." Her eyes glided up and down him. " Enough talk."

Richard recognized the look in her eyes, the quickening of her breathing. " But, Mistress Denna, you've just bathed, and I'm all sweaty."

A small smile came to one side of her mouth. " I like your sweat."

With her eyes locked on his, she put the Agiel between her teeth.

-+----

The days passed with a numbing sameness. Richard didn't mind the devotions, because he wasn't being trained, hurt. But he hated saying the words, and had to concentrate on Denna's braid the whole of the time he chanted. Chanting the same thing, hour after hour, on his knees with his head against the floor tiles, was hardly less onerous than the training. Richard found himself waking at night, or in the morning, chanting the words. Master Rahl guide us. Master Rahl teach us. Master Rahl protect us. In your light we thrive. In your mercy we are sheltered. In your wisdom we are humbled. We live only to serve. Our lives are yours.

Denna didn't wear the red anymore; instead, she wore white leather. She told him it was a gesture that said he was broken, had been taken for a mate, and that to show her power over him she chose not to make him bleed. Constance didn't like it. It didn't make much difference to Richard; the Agiel felt the same whether it drew blood or not. Constance was with Denna about half the time, occasionally going off to train a new pet. Constance became more and more insistent about being left alone with Richard, but Denna wouldn't permit it. Constance threw her all into his training. The more Richard saw of her, the more terrified he became of her. Denna smiled at him whenever she told Constance to take over.

One day, after the afternoon devotion, when Constance had gone off to train someone else, Denna took him back to the little room adjacent to her quarters for his afternoon training. She hoisted him up by the rope until he was. hardly able to touch the floor.

" Mistress Denna, with your permission, would you allow Mistress Constance to do all my training from now on? " His question had an effect he hadn't expected. It enraged her. She stared at him, her face turning a deep red; then she started hitting him with the Agiel, driving it into him, screaming at him, telling him how worthless he was, how insignificant, how she was sick of his talking. Denna was strong, and she beat him with the Agiel as hard as she could. It went on and on.

Richard couldn't remember her being so angry, so severe, so cruel. Soon he couldn't remember anything, even where he was. He convulsed in pain. He couldn't say anything or beg her to stop, or even breathe most of the time. She never slowed or let up. She just seemed to get angrier as she hurt him. He saw blood on the floor, a lot of blood. It splattered all over her white leather. Her chest heaved with her effort, her rage. Her braid came loose.

Denna grabbed his hair and yanked his head back. She gave him no warning. She drove the Agiel in his ear harder than she ever had. She did it again and again. Time distorted into eternity. He no longer knew who he was, or what was happening. He no longer tried to beg, to cry, to hold on.

She stopped, standing next to him, panting in ire. " I'm going to dinner." He felt the agony of the magic come on in him. He gasped, his eyes going wide. " While I'm gone, and I'm going to take my time, I've leaving the pain of the magic on you. You will not be able to pass out, or to stop it. If you let the anger get away from you, it will make the pain worse. And it will get away from you. I promise."

She went to the wall and hoisted the rope up until his feet were off the floor. Richard cried out. His arms felt as if they would be torn out.

" Enjoy yourself." She turned on her heels and left.

Richard balanced on the edge of sanity and madness, the suffering twisting in him, making him unable to control the anger, as she had promised. The flames of his hurt consumed him. It was somehow worse that she wasn't there. He had never felt so alone, so helpless, and the pain wouldn't even let him cry; he could only gasp in agony.

He had no idea how long he was left alone. He was aware only of suddenly dropping to the floor, then Denna's boots to either side of his head as she stood over him. She turned off the pain of the magic, but his arms were still clamped helplessly behind his back, and the burning inferno of pain in his shoulders didn't extinguish. He cried against the blood on the floor as she stood over him.

" I told you before, " she hissed through gritted teeth, " you are my mate for life." He could hear her heavy breathing, the rage in her. " Before I begin doing worse to you, and you are no longer able to speak, I want you to tell me why you asked to have-Constance train you instead of me."

He coughed up blood, trying to speak.

" That is not the way you talk to me! On your knees! Now! "

He tried to get to his knees, but with his arms behind his back, he was unable to. Denna took a fistful of his hair and pulled him up. Dizzy, he fell against her, his face against the wet blood on her belly. His blood.

She pushed him away from her with the tip of the Agiel against his forehead. That brought his eyes open. He looked up at her, to answer.

Denna backhanded him across the-mouth. " Look at the ground when you speak to me! No one gave you permission to look at me! " Richard looked down at her boots. " You're running out of time! Answer the question! "

Richard coughed up more blood; it ran down his chin, and he had to struggle to keep from vomiting. " Because, Mistress Denna, " he said hoarsely, " I know it hurts you to hold the Agiel. I know it hurts you to train me. I wanted Mistress Constance to do it, to spare you the pain. I don't want you to hurt. I know what it feels like to hurt; you have taught me. You have already been hurt enough; I don't want you to hurt any more. I would rather have Mistress Constance punish me than have you be in pain."

He strove to balance himself on his knees. There was a long silence. Richard stared at her boots, and coughed a little, struggling to breathe with the pain in his shoulders. The silence seemed as if it would never end. He didn't know what she was going to do to him next.

" I don't understand you, Richard Cypher, " she said softly, at last, the anger gone from her voice. " The spirits take me, I don't understand you." She walked behind him, unhooked the device that held his arms, and walked out of the room without another word. He couldn't straighten out his arms properly, and fell on his face. He didn't try to get up, he only cried against the bloody floor.

After a time, he heard the bell, calling them to the evening devotion. Denna came back in, squatted down next to him, put her arm gently around him, and helped him to his feet.

" We are not allowed to miss a devotion, " she explained in a quiet voice, hooking the chain to her belt.

The sight of his blood all over the white lather was shocking. There were strings of it across her face and in her hair. As they walked to the devotion, people who usually spoke to her averted their eyes and gave her wide passage. Kneeling with his head to the floor hurt his ribs, making it hard to breathe, much less chant. He didn't know if he was getting the words right, but Denna didn't correct him, so he just went on. How he stayed upright the whole time, without tipping over, he didn't know.

When the bell rang twice, Denna rose, but didn't help him. Constance appeared, a rare grin on her face.

" My, my, Denna, looks like you've been having fun." Constance backhanded him, but he managed to stay on his feet. " Been a bad boy, have you? "

" Yes, Mistress Constance."

" Very bad, it would appear. How delightful." Her hungry eyes turned to Denna. " I'm free. Let's go teach him what two Mord-Sith can really do."

" No, not tonight, Constance."

" No? What do you mean, no? "

Denna exploded. " I mean no! He is my mate, and I'm taking him back to train him as such! Do you wish to come and watch when I lie with my mate! Do you want to watch, too, what I do when I have the Agiel between my teeth! "

Richard shrank back. So that was what she had planned. If she did that to him tonight, as badly as he was already hurt...

People in white robes-missionaries, Denna had called them-were staring. Constance glared back and they hurried off. Both women's faces were red-Denna's from anger, Constance's from embarrassment.

" Of course not, Denna, " she said in a low voice. " I'm sorry

I didn't know. I will leave you to it." She gave Richard a smirk. " You look to be in enough trouble already, my boy. I_ hope you are up to' your duties."

She gave him a jab in the stomach with her Agiel, and walked off. Dizzy, Richard put his hand across himself with a moan. Denna's hand come up under his arm, holding him up. Denna glared after Constance, then started off, expecting him to follow. He, did.

When they were back in Denna's quarters, she gave him the bucket. He almost collapsed at the thought of filling her tub.

Her voice was quiet. " Go and get one bucket of hot water."

Richard could have died with relief, knowing that he didn't have to fill a tub. He retrieved the water, a little confused. She seemed to be angry, but Wasn't directing her anger at him. After he set the bucket on the floor, he waited with his eyes cast downward. Denna brought the chair over. He was surprised she didn't have him do it.

" Sit down." She went to the table by her bed and came back with a pear. She looked at it in her hand a moment, turning it around and around, rubbing it a little with her thumb, then held it out to him. " I brought this back from dinner. I find I am no longer hungry. You had no dinner; you eat it."

Richard looked at the pear in her hand as she held it toward him. " No, Mistress Denna. It's yours. Not mine."

" I know whose it is, Richard." Her voice was still quiet, " Do as I say."

He took the pear, eating it all, even the seeds. Denna knelt down and started washing him. He had no idea what was going on, but the washing hurt, although it was nothing to compare with the Agiel. He wondered why she was doing this, when it was time to train him again.

Denna seemed to sense his apprehension. " I have a backache."

" I'm sorry, Mistress Denna, I've caused it by my behavior."

" Be quiet, " she said gently. " I want to sleep on something hard, for my back. I will sleep on the floor. Since I will sleep on the floor, you will have to sleep in my bed, and I don't want your blood in it."

Richard was a little perplexed. The floor was certainly big enough for the two of them, and she had certainly gotten his blood in her bed before. It had never bothered her in the past. He decided it was not his place to question, and so didn't.

" All right, " she said when she had finished, " get in the bed."

He lay down while she watched him. With resignation, he picked up the Agiel from the side table and held it out to her, the pain from it hurting his arm. He wished she weren't going to do this to him tonight.

Denna took the Agiel from him and returned it to the table. " Not tonight. I told you, I have a backache." She blew out the lamp. " Go to sleep.'."

He heard her lie on the floor, whispering a curse to herself. He was too exhausted to think, and was asleep in a short time.

When the peal of the bell woke him, Denna was already up. She had cleaned the blood from her white outfit; and had fixed her braid. She said nothing to him as they walked to the devotion. It was painful for him to kneel, and he was glad when it was finished. He didn't see Constance. Walking behind Denna, he began to turn toward the training room, but she didn't, and the chain pulled taut. The pain brought him up short.

" We're not going that way, " she said.

" Yes, Mistress Denna."

She walked awhile, down halls that stretched forever, then gave him an impatient look. " Walk next.to me. We're going for a walk. It's something I enjoy doing occasionally. When my back hurts. It helps me."

" I'm sorry, Mistress Denna. I was hoping it would be better by this morning."

She glanced at him, then looked back to where she was going. " Well, it's not. So we will go for a walk."

Richard had never been this far from Denna's quarters before. His eyes took little journeys to the new sights. At intervals, there were places just like the one where they went for their devotions, opened to the sky and the sun, each with a rock in the center, and a bell. Some had grass instead of sand, and some even a pool of water that the rock sat in. Fish glided in groups through the clear water. The halls were sometimes wide as rooms, with patterned tiles on the floor, arches and columns all about and ceilings soaring high above. Windows let light stream into these places, making them bright and airy

People were everywhere, most in robes of white or some other pale color. No one ever seemed in a hurry, but most seemed as if they had a place to go, although a few sat on marble benches. Richard saw few soldiers. Most people walked past Denna and him as if they were invisible, but a few smiled and exchanged a greeting with her.

The size of the place was astounding; the halls and passages stretched out of sight. Wide stairs led up or down to unknown parts of the great edifice. One hall had statues of naked people in proud poses. The statues were made of carved and polished stone, mostly white, some with gold veining through it, and each was twice as tall as he. Richard never saw one place that was dark, or ugly, or dirty; everything he saw was beautiful. The sound of people's footsteps echoed through the halls like reverent whispers. Richard wondered how a place as large as this could even be conceived of, much less built. It must have taken lifetimes.

Denna led them to a sprawling square that was open to the sky. Full-grown trees covered the mossy ground, and a path of brown clay tiles meandered through the center of the indoor forest. They strolled along the path, Richard looking up at the trees. They were beautiful, even if they were bare of leaves.

Denna watched him. " You like the trees, don't you."

He nodded, looking about. " Very much, Mistress Denna, " he whispered.

" Why do you like them? "

Richard thought a moment. " It seems they are part of my past. I can dimly recall that I was a guide. A woods guide, I think. But I don't remember much about it, Mistress Denna. Except I liked the woods."

" Being broken makes you forget things from before, " she said quietly. " The more I train you, the more you will forget the past, except specific questions I ask you. Soon, you will remember none of it."

" Yes, Mistress Denna. Mistress Denna, what is this place? "

" It's called the People's Palace. It's the seat of power in D'Hara. IC is the home of Master Rahl."

They had lunch in a different place than they usually ate. She had him sit in a chair; he didn't know why. They went to the afternoon devotion at one of the places with water instead of sand, and after devotion, they walked some more through the vast halls, to find themselves back in familiar territory for dinner. The walking made him feel better. His muscles had needed to be stretched.

After the evening devotion, in the little room in her quarters, Denna locked his arms behind his back in the binding device, and hoisted it up, but not enough to take the weight off his feet. It still brought the pain back to his sore shoulders, but it made him wince only a little.

" Is your back better, Mistress Denna? Did the walking help? "

" It's nothing I can't tolerate."

She walked slowly around him, watching the floor. She stopped at last in front of him, rolling the Agiel in her fingers for a time, scrutinizing it.

Her eyes didn't come up. Her voice was hardly more than a whisper. " Tell me you think I'm ugly."

He looked at her until her eyes finally came up. " No. That would be a lie."

A sad smile spread on her lips. " That was a mistake, my love. You have disobeyed my direct order, and you have forgotten the appellation."

" I know, Mistress Denna."

Her eyes closed, but a little of the strength came back to her voice. " You are nothing but trouble. I don't know why Master Rahl burdened me with your training. You have earned yourself two hours."

She gave him his two hours, not as hard as she usually did, but hard enough to make him cry in pain. After the training, she told him that her back still hurt, and slept on the floor again, having him sleep in the bed.

The next few days went back to the regular routine, the training not being as long or as strenuous as before, except when Constance was there. Denna kept a close watch on her, guiding more than she had in the past. Constance didn't like it, sometimes glaring at Denna. When Constance was rougher than Denna wished, she wasn't invited for the next session.

With the lighter training sessions, his head started to clear, and he began remembering things, things about his past. A few times, when Denna's back hurt, they went for long walks, looking at the various, astonishingly beautiful places.

After an afternoon devotion one day, Constance asked if she could come along. Denna smiled and said yes. Constance asked to do the training, and was given permission. She was rougher than usual, and had Richard in prolonged agony, tears of pain streaming down his cheeks. Richard was hoping Denna would put a stop to it, as he was on his last strings of tolerance. As Denna came out of her chair, a man came into the room.

" Mistress Denna, Master Rahl has requested you."

" When? "

" Right now."

Denna gave a sigh. " Constance, would you finish the session? "

Constance looked into Richard's eyes and smiled. " Why, of course, Denna."

Richard was terrified, but didn't dare say a word.

" His time is nearly up, just take him back to my quarters and leave him there. I'm sure I won't be long."

" My pleasure, Denna. You can count on me."

Denna started to leave. Constance grinned at him wickedly, her face close to his. She grabbed his belt and yanked it open. Richard couldn't breathe.

" Constance" -Denna had come back in-" I don't want you doing that."

Constance was caught off guard. " In your absence, I'm in charge of him, and I'll do as I wish."

Denna came and put her face close to the other's. " He is my mate, and I said I don't want you to do that. And I don't want you to put the Agiel in his ear either."

" I'll do as I..."

" You will not." Denna gritted her teeth as she looked down to the shorter Woman. " I am the one who took the punishment when we killed Rastin. Me. Not you and me, only me. I have never made a point of it before, but I do now. You know what they did to me, and I never told them you had a part in it. He is my mate, and I am his Mord-Sith. Not you. Me. You will respect my wishes or there is going to be trouble between us." " All right, Denna, " she huffed. " All right. I'll mind your wishes."

Denna still glared at her. " See that you do, Sister Constance."

Constance finished the session with all the effort she could bring forth, although she kept the Agiel mostly where Denna wanted it. Richard knew it went on for longer than it should have. When she took him back to Denna's quarters, she spent a good hour slapping him around, then hooked the chain over the footboard of the bed and told him he was to stand until Denna came back.

Constance put her face close to his, as best she could, considering her height, and grabbed him between the legs.

" Take good care of this for me, " she sneered. " You aren't going to have it much longer. I have reason to believe Master Rahl will shortly be reassigning you to me, and when he does, I'm going to alter your anatomy." A grin spread on her face. " And I don't think you're going to like it."

His anger flashed, bringing on the pain of the magic. It took him to his knees. Constance laughed as she left the room. He managed to get the anger under control, but the pain wouldn't stop until he stood.

Warm sunlight was streaming in the window. He hoped Denna would be returning soon. The sun set. Dinnertime came and went. Still Denna did not return. Richard began to worry. He had a feeling that something was wrong. He heard the peal of the bell for the evening devotion, but couldn't go to it, being chained to the bed. He wondered if he was supposed to kneel where he was, but realized he couldn't do that either; he had been told to stand. He thought maybe he should still chant the devotion, but decided there was no one to hear him, and it wouldn't matter.

It was long since dark out the window, but thankfully the lamps were lit and at least he didn't have to stand in the dark. The two bells announced the end of evening devotion. Still Denna was not back. His training time came and went. Still no Denna. Richard was fraught with worry.

At last, he heard the door push open. Denna's head was bowed, her posture stiff. The braid was undone and her hair disheveled. She laboriously pushed the door closed. He saw that her skin was ashen, her eyes wet. She didn't look at him: " Richard, " she said in a small voice, " fill my bath for me. Please? I need a bath, I feel very dirty right now."

" Of course, Mistress Derma."

He dragged the tub in and ran as fast as he could to fill it. He didn't think he had ever done it more quickly. She stood and watched as he brought in bucket after bucket. When he was finished, he stood panting, waiting.

Her trembling fingers started unbuttoning the leather. " Help me with this? I don't think I can do it by myself."

He unbuttoned it for her as she shivered. Wincing, he had to peel it off her back; some of her skin came with it. His heart was pounding. Denna was covered with welts from the back of her neck to the back of her ankles. Richard was frightened, and he ached with hurt for her, for the pain she was in. Tears came to his eyes. The power roared up in him. He ignored it.

" Mistress Denna, who did this to you? " he demanded.

" Master Rahl. It is nothing I did not deserve."

He held her hands and helped her into the tub. She let out a little sound as she sank slowly into the hot water, sitting stiffly.

" Mistress Denna, why would he do this to you? "

She winced when he put the soapy cloth to her back.. " Constance told him I was being too easy on you. I deserve what was done to me. I have been lax in your training. I am Mord-Sith. I should have done better. I received only that which I deserve."

" You do not deserve this, Mistress Denna, it is me who should have taken the punishment. Not you."

Her hands trembled as she held the sides of the tub and he carefully washed her. He gently wiped the sweat off the white skin of her face. She stared ahead the whole time he worked, a few tears rolling down her cheeks.

Her lip quivered. " Tomorrow, Master Rahl will see you." His hand stopped washing for a second. " I'm sorry, Richard. You will answer his questions."

He glanced up at her face, but she didn't look back. " Yes, Mistress Denna." He rinsed her off with water cupped in his hands. " Let me dry you off." He did it as gently as he could. " Do you wish to sit, Mistress Denna? "

She gave an embarrassed smile. " I don't think I would like that, just now." She turned her head stiffly. " Over there. I will lie on the bed." She took his hand when he put it out for her. " I can't seem to stop shaking. Why can't I stop shaking? "

" Because it hurts, Mistress Denna."

" I've had much worse than this done to me. This was only a small reminder of who I am. But still, I can't stop shaking."

She lay facedown on the bed, her eyes on him. Richard's worry made his mind start working again.

" Mistress Denna, is my pack still here? "

" In the cabinet. Why? "

" Just lie still. Mistress Denna, let me do something, if I can remember how."

He pulled his pack from a high shelf in the cabinet, laid it on the table, and-started rummaging through it. Denna watched him, the side of her face resting on the backs of her hands. Beneath a carved bone whistle on a leather thong, he found the package he was searching for, and laid it open on the table. He pulled out a tin bowl, took his knife from his belt, and laid it, too, on the table. He stood and took a jar of cream from the cabinet. He had seen her spread it on her skin. It was just what he needed.

" Mistress Denna, may I use this? "

" Why? „

" Please? "

" Go ahead."

Richard took the entire pile of neatly stacked, dried aum leaves and put them in the tin bowl, then selected a few other herbs he remembered by smell, but not by name, and dumped them in with the aum leaves. With the knife handle, he ground it all into a powder. Picking up the jar of cream, he scooped it all out and plopped it into the bowl, mixing it with two fingers. He took the bowl and sat on the bed next to her.

" Just lie still, " he told her.

" The appellation, Richard, the appellation. Will you never learn? "

" Sorry, Mistress Denna, " he smiled. " You may punish me later. For now, lie still. When I'm finished you will feel well enough to punish me all night. I promise."

'He spread the paste gently on the welts, smoothing it out as he went. Denna moaned. Her eyes closed while he worked. By the time he reached the back of her ankles, she was almost asleep. He stroked her hair while the aum cream soaked in.

" How does that feel, Mistress Denna? " he whispered.

She rolled onto her side, her eyes opening wide. " The pain is gone! How did you do that? How did you make the pain leave? "

Richard smiled in satisfaction. " I learned it from an old friend named..." He frowned. " I can't remember his name. But he's an old friend, and he taught me. I'm so relieved, Mistress Denna. I don't like to see you in pain."

She gently touched her fingers to the side of his face. " You are a very rare person, Richard Cypher. I have never had a mate like you before. The spirits take me, I have never even seen a person like you before. I killed the one who did the things to me that I have done to you, and you instead help me."

" We all can be only who we are, no more, and no less, Mistress Denna." He looked down at his hands. " I don't like what Master Rahl has done to you."

" You, don't understand about the Mord-Sith, my love. We are carefully selected, as young girls. Those chosen to be Mord-Sith are the most gentle, the most kindhearted, that can be found. It is said that the deepest cruelty comes from the deepest caring. All of D'Hara is searched, and each year only about a half dozen are chosen. A Mord-Sith is broken three times."

His eyes were wide. " Three times? " he whispered.

Denna nodded. " The first is the way in which I broke you, to break the spirit. The second is to break our empathy. To do it, we must watch our trainer break our mother, and make her his pet, and watch him hurt her until she dies. The third is to break us of our fear of hurting another, to make us enjoy giving pain. To do it, we must break our fathers, under the guidance of our trainer, and make him our pet, and keep hurting him until we kill him."

Tears trickled down Richard's cheeks. " They did all this to you? "

" What I did to you, to break you, is nothing compared to what must be done to us to break us the second and third time. The more kindhearted a girl is, the better Sikh she makes, but it makes it harder to break her the second and third time. Master Rahl thinks me special because they had a very difficult time with the second breaking of me. My mother lived a long time, to try to keep me from giving up hope, but that only made it harder. On both of us. They failed at the third breaking, had given up, and were going to kill me, but Master Rahl said that if I could be broken, I would be someone special, and so took over my training himself. He is the one who broke me the third time. On the day I killed my father, he took me to his bed, as a reward. His reward left me barren."

Richard could hardly speak past the lump in his throat. With shaking fingers, he brushed some of her hair back off her face. " I don't want anyone hurting you. Not ever again, Mistress Denna."

" It is an honor, " Denna whispered through tears, " that Master Rahl would spare the time to punish one as low as me with my own Agiel."

Richard sat numb. " I hope he kills me tomorrow, so I don't have to learn anything else that gives me this much pain, Mistress Denna."

Her wet eyes shone in the lamplight. " I have done things to hurt you that 1 have done to no other, yet you are the first person since I was chosen who has done anything to stop my pain." She sat up and picked up the tin bowl. " There is some left. Let me put it on you where Constance did what I told her not to."

Denna spread the aum cream on the welts on his shoulders, then on his stomach and chest, working up to his neck. Her eyes met his. Her hand stopped. The room was dead quiet. Denna leaned forward and gently kissed him. She put her hand with the cream on the back of his neck and kissed him again.

She lay back on the bed, holding his hand against her belly with both of hers. " Come to me, my love. I want you very badly right now."

&