Act two, scene seventeen

HOGWARTS, STAIRCASES

RON is walking down the staircase, consumed in his thoughts, and then he sees HERMIONE and his expression changes entirely.

RON: Professor Granger.

HERMIONE looks across, her heart leaps a bit too (though she won’t admit it).

HERMIONE: Ron. What are you doing here?

RON: Panju got in a little trouble in Potions class. Was showing off, of course, and put the wrong thing with the wrong thing and now he has no eyebrows and a rather large mustache, apparently. Which doesn’t suit him. I didn’t want to come but Padma says that when it comes to facial growths, sons need their fathers. Have you done something with your hair?

HERMIONE: Just combed it, I suspect.

RON: Well... Combing it suits you.

HERMIONE looks at RON slightly strangely.

HERMIONE: Ron, will you stop looking at me like that?

RON (summoning confidence): You know, Harry’s boy Albus — said to me the other day that he thought you and I were — married. Ha-ha. Ha. Ha. Ridiculous, I know.

HERMIONE: Very ridiculous.

RON: He even thought we had a daughter. That’d be strange, wouldn’t it?

The two lock eyes. HERMIONE is the first to break away.

HERMIONE: More than strange.

RON: Exactly. We’re — friends, and that’s all.

HERMIONE: Absolutely. Only — friends.

RON: Only — friends. Funny word — friends. Not that funny. Just a word really. Friends. Friend. Funny friend. You, my funny friend, my Hermione. Not that — not my Hermione, you understand — not MY Hermione — not MINE — you know, but...

HERMIONE: I know.

There’s a pause. Neither of them move the smallest inch. Everything feels too important for movement. Then RON coughs.

RON: Well. Must get on. Sort Panju out. Teach him the finer arts of mustache grooming.

He walks on, he turns, he looks at HERMIONE. She looks back, he hurries on again.

Your hair really does very much suit you.