A VIsit to a doctor

– Well, what’s the matter with you, Mr. Walker?

– You’d better ask me what is not the matter with me, doctor. I seem to be suffering from all the illnesses imaginable: insomnia, headaches, backache, indigestion, constipation and pains in the stomach. To make things still worse, I’ve caught a cold, I’ve got a sore throat and I’m constantly sneezing and coughing. To crown it all, I had an accident the other day, hurt my right shoulder, leg and knee, and nearly broke my neck. If I take a long walk, I get short of breath. In fact, feel more dead than alive.

– I’m sorry to hear that. Anyhow, I hope things aren’t as bad as you imagine. Let me examine you. Your heart, chest and lungs seem to be all right. Now open your mouth and show me your tongue. Now breathe in deeply, through the nose… There doesn’t seem to be anything radically wrong with you, but it’s quite clear that you’re run down, and if you don’t take care of yourself, you may have a nervous breakdown and have to go to hospital. I advise you, first of all, to stop worrying. Take a long rest, have regular meals, keep to a diet of salads and fruit, and very little meat. Keep off alcohol. If possible, give up smoking, at least for a time. Have this tonic made up and take two table spoonfuls three times a day before meals. If you do this, I can promise you full recovery within two or three months.

– And if I don’t, doctor?

– Than you’d better make your will, if you haven’t yet done so.

– I see. Well, thank you, doctor. I shall have to think it over and decide which the lesser evil is: to follow your advice or prepare for a better world.

AT THE DENTIST’S

Nell: Hello, is that you, Bert? Nell is here. I’m so glad I’ve found you in.

Bert: Hello, Nell. How are things?

N.: Fine. Listen, Bert. I’m bursting with news. Just imaging: yesterday I had the first real patient of my own.

B.: You don’t say! Who was it?

N.: A nice old dear with a lot of teeth to be pulled out. It’s such wonderful practice for me!

B.: Are you quite sure that some of his teeth couldn’t be filled?

N.: None of them! I sent him to have his teeth X-rayed, so it’s all right.

B.: How did you manage to get such marvelous patient, I wonder?

N.: He came with a bad toothache. It had been bothering him for a day or two already.

B.: Were there no other dentists in the surgery?

N.: No, I was the only one. It was Sunday.

B.: Poor old thing! I hope you didn’t try to pull out all his teeth at once, did you?

N.: Don’t be silly. I just chose the easiest one to begin with.

B.: I see… And how did you get along?

N.: Wonderfully! I tested his blood pressure and gave him a couple of injections, though he said that my smile worked better than any injection.

B.: Oh… And he didn’t have heart attack after the tooth was taken out? It would have been natural for an old man.

N.: No, he just felt a bit sick and giddy. I gave him a tonic and told him to stay in bed for a while and take his temperature.

B.: Perhaps I’d better drop in and check his heart? I’m on sick leave now and can do it at any time.

N.: You needn’t. I’ll ring him up and in case he’s running a high temperature I’ll let you know. But I do hope he won’t. The day after tomorrow he’s coming again.

B.: Are you sure he’s not going to make an appointment with some other dentist?

N.: I don’t think he will. When he was leaving he said he looked forward to having all his teeth pulled out and he would keep them all as souvenirs to remember me by.

B.: Well, I wish you good luck. Hope to hear from you soon. Bye for now, Nell.

N.: Good-bye, Bert. I’ll let you know how things are going on.

13. Answer the questions:

1. What should you do if a) you feel feverish; b) you susceptible to drugs; c) your brother/sister is running high temperature; d) you have a very bad headache.

2. What should a doctor do to diagnose you? How can you arrange for a doctor’s visit to you?

3. Which do you prefer: to go to the local out-patient clinic or to send for a doctor?

4. What should you do with those prescriptions that the doctor has written out for you?

5. How long is your sick-leave?

6. What can you cure your running nose with?