Secrets of Success as Related In the Best Current Literature

Stephen Leacock (1869-1944), a well-known Canadian writer, was born in England. When he was 7 years old his family emigrated to Canada. He was educated at Toronto and Chicago Universities. His first collection of humorous short stories Literary Lapses appeared in 1910. He also wrote articles, essays and sketches, in which he developed his own conception of humour.

I had been employed in one business and another quite a good few years, and yet I hadn't made good. I hadn't made good, and I knew I hadn't made good, and sometimes the knowledge that I hadn't made good made me feel bad. Often when I came home nights, I'd say, " Doll, " I'd say, " I haven't made good." " No, Jim, old boy, " she'd say, " I know you haven't made good, but never mind you'll make good yet! "

Often I used to think it over as to why it was I hadn't made good. I'd had about as much education as most, and more experience than many and better chances than some. I was willing enough and steady enough. I was a non-drinker and a non-smoker; I never touched a card and had never seen a horse race in my life, and never been inside the doors of a poolroom. Yet I knew as well as anybody just where my shortcomings were; I lacked pep, I had no punch, I had practically no magnetism... And I knew that nowadays in business it is magnetism and pep that make for success.

Well, I was thinking it all over one Monday morning in the back yard before going to work, when all of a sudden the reason of my failure came to me like a flash. I had no belief in myself: that was it. I couldn’t accomplish anything because I couldn't believe in myself.

I got up and I walked right into the house to the kitchen where Doll was getting the breakfast ready. " Doll, " I said, " I've found out what was wrong. I've got no belief in myself, " and I hit the table with my fist till it jumped up. " Oh, Jim, " Doll said, " you frighten me? " " Ha? Ha! " I laughed - that was the first time in six years that Doll had ever said that I frightened her...

Well, I got my breakfast and I started down to the office for my new job just feeling fine. I could sense myself reaching against everything. " Jim Dudley, ” I kept repeating to myself, " you're going to make good."

The first person I ran into at the office was the general manager just going in.

" You're ten minutes early, Dudley, " he said.

" Mr. Kitson, " I answered, " I'd rather be early than not".

And with that I opened my desk and got right to work. I guess I never worked in my life as I did that morning. Everything seemed easy. Letters I would have taken half an hour to consider I answered in two minutes. And every letter I answered I tried to put in just a little sunshine. Even if I didn't know who the correspondent was I found time to write in Peek-a-boo! orKeep on Smiling! or some little thing like that. " Jim Dudley, " I said to myself, " you're going to make good."

Two or three times in the morning Mr. Kitson walked through the office. About one o'clock he came over to my desk. " Dudley, " he said, “I’ve something I want to talk to you about, come out to have lunch with me."

" Now, Jim, " said Mr. Kitson, " I've had my eye on you all the morning, and I believe you're the man we want. The company wants someone to go to Kansas City to line up a man and to swing a big proposition."

" Mr. Kitson, " I interrupted, " I can line him up and swing it."

" When can you go? "

" Right now, " I said, " as soon as I finish my spinach. Just tell me what it is that I swing when I get there."

When I got to Kansas City, I found I was up against something pretty big. I found John Smith but he wouldn't see me. I went right into his office, and I said, " Mr. Smith, can I see you? " " No, " he said, " you can't." However, I hung on. " Let me see you, " I said. " No. I won't, " he answered. Still I wouldn't give in. I went up to his house that evening and right into his library. " Can I see you now? " I asked. " No, " he answered, " you can't see me." " Look here! Mr. Smith, " I pleaded, " I've come two thousand miles to see you: let me see you! " " No, Dudley, " he said, " I won't."

That went on four days and at last he gave in. " All right, Jim, " he said, " state your business. What do you want? " " I want to line you up – swing you, " I said, " come out with me, Mr. Smith, and eat spinach, and I'll tell you about it."

So I took him out to a swell restaurant where they had the best spinach in Kansas City. " Now, " I said after we had eaten, " you're a big man and this is a big thing: we want to put over something pretty big and you're the man we want in on it. You're big."

" Jim, " he said, " you talk well. And what's more, you've got personality and that's the biggest thing in business today. As soon as I see a man who has personality, I do whatever he wants. Personality gets me every time."

So I got what I wanted, and I took the train right back to New York. Doll met me at the depot. I kissed her right there on the platform. " Did you swing it? " she asked. " Yes, Doll, I did, " I answered. I saw Doll drop a tear right on the platform. " Good old Jim, " she said.

Next morning I found an envelope on my desk with a cheque for five thousand dollars in it. Well, that was how I got my first start. Once the firm found that I could line up a man and swing a thing of that size there was lots more to do. So the end of it was they made me the head of the company.

So I went home to Doll and I said, " Doll, " I said, " I'm made the president of the company." " Oh, Jim! " she said, " you've made good. I'm so proud — and I'm proud of the company, too, now that you're president of it. So you must tell me all about it, what it does and what it makes and sells."

" Doll", I answered, " don't ask me. I've been so busy in swinging propositions and lining things up and eating spinach, that I've never had time to find out what on earth the company does do."

Ответьте на вопросы к тексту:

1. Who is Stephen Leacock?

2. What makes success in business?

3. What made the main character change his attitude to life?

4. How much was he paid for the work?