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Chapter thirteen. Jill watched the ticking of the clock






Jill watched the ticking of the clock. On more than one occasion, she'd picked up the phone intending to call Craig, intending to make up some excuse to cancel their lunch date. And each time, she hung up before it could ring. She could think of no plausible reason to cancel.

So she spent the rest of the morning trying to think of a way to contact Carrie. She had almost talked herself into driving out to the cottage and leaving a note but decided that was a bit much. Of course, it would all be so much simpler if she and Carrie had at least exchanged phone numbers. As it was, Carrie would simply be left to wonder if Jill decided to skip out on their daily lunch or... or what? Got a better offer? She glanced out the window at the sunshine that had finally made an appearance after four days of rain. A better offer? It wouldn't be possible.

She looked again to the clock, knowing Harriet would be leaving soon. Then she would have an hour to herself, a whole hour to wish she had no lunch date with her husband.

" Oh, Jill, what is wrong with you? " she whispered. She cupped her face in her hands and let out a deep breath. Indeed, what was wrong with her? How could she possibly be dreading seeing her husband and daughter?

Oh, it wasn't that she was dreading the lunch date. She knew the truth for what it was. She was dreading not being able to see Carrie. It wasn't startling to realize she would rather spend her lunch hour with Carrie, not her husband. She would rather spend it talking and visiting and getting to know her new friend, not sitting in a crowded pizza joint with high school kids all clamoring for attention, her daughter included.

But she would go. She would pretend to have a good time. And at two, when Craig dropped her off at the office, she would kiss him good-bye and tell him how much she enjoyed it. Then the rest of the afternoon would crawl by, much like the morning had, and this empty feeling in her stomach would grow and grow as the weekend approached.

" I don't know why we couldn't have come at noon, " Angie complained. " All the cool kids are already gone."

" Because my lunch time is one to two, " Jill said as she reached for a slice of pizza.

" I should have asked you to switch, I guess, " Craig said. As Jill stared at him, eyebrows raised, he shrugged. " It's her lunch too."

" Oh, look, Dad, isn't that Lance? " Angie asked quietly.

Jill followed their gaze. " Lance who? "

Angie rolled her eyes dramatically. " He's only like the coolest, Mom. Hello? Quarterback? "

" Oh, of course. That Lance. Isn't he a senior? "

" So? It's not like I'm a child, you know."

" Of course not. What was I thinking? "

Craig laughed. " He's got a girlfriend, Angie. Patti Helms."

" Only 'cause she's a cheerleader, " Angie said, her face screwing up as if she'd just sucked on a lemon.

Jill bit her lip to keep from laughing as the object of Angie's lust walked past.

" Hey, Coach."

" Lance, how's it going? "

An inaudible grunt was the response as he headed to the buffet table. Angie's eyes never left him.

" Cute and an extensive vocabulary too, " Jill teased. However, neither Craig nor Angie heard. Both of their cell phones rang at once.

Jill sat quietly—patiently—as Angie's voice lowered to a whisper as she relayed her chance encounter with the quarterback to one of her friends. Craig's voice was as loud and animated as always when he talked sports. She turned away, her glance going to the windows, finding the sunshine, wishing she was out in it. It was warm enough. They might have even braved the pier for the first time.

She sighed, her shoulders sagging as she tuned out the voices of the others around her. Amazing how lonely she could feel sitting in the presence of her husband and daughter. She closed her eyes for a moment then attempted to conceal her frustration with a smile. Neither of them noticed as they continued with their conversations.

Taking her nearly empty glass of tea, she walked slowly to the counter, refilling her glass and adding a slice of lemon before turning around again. Amazing, but Craig didn't even seem to notice that she wasn't there. Had it always been this way and she'd just never noticed before?

She nodded. Yes, it had. And yes, she noticed. She'd just never cared before. She was content to get lost in her own thoughts, to people-watch... whatever. So then why did it matter now? Why did she want his attention now?

Again, she didn't run from the truth. And the truth was, she was afraid. Afraid of her interest in Carrie. Afraid of the attention Carrie showed her. And perhaps if she and Craig talked more, spent more time together, then Carrie wouldn't constantly be on her mind. And perhaps she wouldn't wish she was with Carrie instead of her husband.

Like now.

She stood there and watched them from a distance, wondering who Craig was talking to, who held his attention. Angie's call had ended and she'd gone to the buffet for a couple more slices of pizza. She watched as Craig snapped his fingers at her and pointed to his own plate, indicating he wanted more too. Jill's eyes shifted to her abandoned plate, seeing the half-eaten piece she'd started on, and the second, still untouched.

She made herself move, walking back to their table, touching Craig lightly on the shoulder as she passed. He looked at her and smiled, then went back to his conversation.

" Aren't you going to eat? " Angie asked as she plopped another piece of pizza on her father's plate.

Jill stared at her plate again then shook her head. " Not really hungry anymore."

" Who's he talking to anyway? "

" I have no idea, " Jill said quietly. She shoved the sleeve up on her arm, noting the time. She tapped her fingers quietly on the table for a few seconds then finally nudged Craig.

" Yeah, hang on a sec, Brad, " he said, covering the phone with his palm. " What is it, babe? "

" As much as I've enjoyed our lunch date together, I need to get back."

" Is it time already? "

She stared at him for a moment then shoved her chair back as she stood. When she glanced at her daughter, she was surprised to see a hint of understanding in her eyes. She nodded slightly then walked out the door and into the sunshine. She bent her head back, staring into the blueness above, the clouds long ago chased from the sky.

" Sorry about that, babe, " Craig said as he held the truck door open for her. " That was Brad from the radio station. They want to interview me before our game on Tuesday."

" How nice, " she murmured.

When he closed his own door, he turned to Angie in the back and gave her a smile. " It was good to all go out together, wasn't it? " He turned to Jill. " Right? "

She smiled. " Sure, Craig. It was nice to spend time with you."

Jill sat quietly at her desk, her door closed. She moved the mouse absently, the screen saver fading away as she watched. She tilted her head, staring at the monitor as the jumble of numbers ran together. Closing her eyes, she shoved away from the desk, turning her chair toward the window.

She couldn't concentrate on work.

Wonder what she did for lunch? Wonder if she went out to the pier?

" Wonder if she missed me being there? " Jill murmured.

A quick tap on her door brought her around. " What is it? "

Harriet stuck her head inside. " There's a call for you."

Harriet closed the door behind her and Jill stared at the phone, seeing the one blinking line and knowing instinctively that it was Carrie. The pounding of her pulse told her that. So, taking a deep breath, she answered in her most professional tone.

" Jill Richardson. How may I help you? "

A pause, then, " Are you okay? "

Jill squeezed the phone tightly. " No. I mean, yeah, I'm okay, but... no."

Carrie laughed quietly. " Surprisingly, I understand completely."

Jill smiled. " Craig took me and Angie out for lunch. Pizza. I didn't know about it until last night. And I didn't have any way of contacting you."

" It's okay. You don't have to explain. I was just worried. I had visions of you having a car accident or something."

" I'm sorry."

" There's nothing to be sorry for."

" Yes there is. I'm sorry I missed our lunch, " Jill said quietly.

There was silence and Jill could picture Carrie's face, could almost see her pale blue eyes.

" I understand husbands come first."

Jill closed her eyes as she pressed the phone tightly against her ear. " I would have rather... well, I wish I had been at the cottage with you."

" I missed you too, Jill."

Jill could hear the smile in Carrie's voice and she smiled too. " I've grown to hate weekends."

The laughter in her ear brought a quick grin to her face, chasing away the quiet desperation she'd felt most of the day.

" Well, perhaps soon we'll be able to steal a Saturday."

Jill leaned back in her chair, still clutching the phone tightly. " What did you do today? " she asked quietly.

" Well, after I realized you weren't going to come, I drove to the park to feed the ducks. I think Grandma Duck has missed us this week. But it was such a nice day, there were lots of people about." She laughed again. " You would have hated it."

" Trust me, I would have loved it."

 






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