Chapter Seven

THE NEXT DAY, while they worked together in the restaurant kitchen, Dana talked to Tracy about Ridley's invitation to join her, Karen and Laurie at the shore the next weekend.

" I think you should go, Dana, I really do. All you've done is work since you moved here." Tracy pressed the pulse button on the food processor four or five times until the pastry dough formed itself into a ball.

" Maybe I should. I'd love to spend some time with Karen and Laurie."

" What about Ridley? " Tracy removed the ball of dough, patted it into a flat disc and wrapped it in plastic wrap. She put it in the refrigerator to chill and while she was there she grabbed another piece of dough she'd made earlier. " You enjoy spending time with her, don't you? " Tracy floured the marble counter and began rolling the dough out.

" So far, I've enjoyed her company very much." Dana leaned against the sink with her arms folded. " You're not going to start on that again are you? "

" No." Tracy looked up and met Dana's eyes. " You told me you used to love the shore."

" You'd have to do Sunday brunch without me, " Dana reminded her.

Tracy went back to rolling the dough. " I don't mind. We agreed to cover each other, didn't we? We said we didn't want to work all the time and have no life, remember? " Tracy turned the dough clockwise and rolled it into a bigger circle. " It's not like I'd be here alone."

" I know, but we haven't done it yet." Dana knew Tracy was tossing out anything that came into her head that would persuade her to go. She also knew she should go. It had been too long since she'd taken any time off or gone anywhere with friends.

" Then it's time we did. How are we ever going to see how it goes? You know I can take care of things around here. Just plan the menu specials with me before you go and make sure we have everything we need. I'll do the rest."

" All right, if you're sure you don't mind."

" I don't mind because you're going to return the favor some time." Tracy laid the circle of dough she'd rolled out over a tart pan and pressed it into the bottom with her fingers. Then she ran the rolling pin over the top of the tart pan to cut off the excess dough. " I'm not going to spend the rest of my life working my ass off."

" Okay, you've convinced me and I will return the favor anytime you want me to." Dana went to the refrigerator and pulled out some leeks and carrots.

" Why don't you ride down with Ridley on Friday or at least think about going on Saturday morning with her? You told me she offered to wait for you, right? " Tracy poked holes in the tart dough with a fork and popped it into the oven. I can handle dinner on Saturday."

" I already made up my mind that if I decided to go I would drive down by myself on Sunday morning and come back on Monday. That's long enough for me and I want to be free to leave if I need to." Dana started peeling a carrot.

" Now why would you need to leave? Wait, don't tell me." The expression on Tracy's face mirrored the sarcasm in her next words. " You're thinking it might be difficult to have fun with good friends and spend time with an adorable lesbian."

" How do you know she's a lesbian? " Dana peeled another carrot.

" What? Give me a break, Dana."

" As a matter of fact, she is. I asked her, " Dana said to annoy Tracy.

" You needed to ask? I swear, I think you've lost your mind."

" My mind's as sharp as ever." Dana paused and rested her hands on her hips. She looked at Tracy. " Now let's get back to me going alone. I'd feel better if I knew I could leave whenever I wanted to because I don't know what it's like there and I've never stayed with Ridley. Also, I don't want you to be stuck with dinner on Saturday. I know you're capable of doing it, but I'd feel better if I stayed."

" You know that's not the real reason."

" Okay, okay. God, it's a pain in the ass to have someone know you so well. I just think it's best to limit the time I spend with Ridley. I don't want our relationship, if we even have one, to get out of hand." Dana went back to preparing her vegetables.

" Why the hell not? Don't you like her? "

" That's the problem. I do like her and I don't want her to get the wrong idea."

" And what wrong idea would that be? " Tracy asked.

" The one where she gets it in her head that I might be interested in her. She's a very nice girl and it wouldn't be fair to lead her on." Dana felt a flush creeping up into her cheeks and that was always a dead giveaway that she wasn't being honest. She knew Tracy would notice.

" I think you really are interested in her and what's wrong with that? She's available and you're available and anyone can see she's interested in you." Tracy moved to the counter, next to Dana, grabbed a chef's knife and started helping her slice the leeks.

" Maybe she is interested in me, but you're wrong about me. I am definitely not interested in her, not in the way you mean. I swear I'm not."

Tracy stopped slicing for a moment. " Sure you're not."

" It's the truth, Tracy. You know I don't want to get involved. Besides, I..."

" Please don't tell me you still want Sarah? " Tracy slammed her chef's knife on the counter and turned to face Dana. " It's been over for two years for Christ's sake. You have got to get on with your life."

" Don't be mad at me, " Dana whispered.

" I'm not mad at you. It's just that you make me crazy sometimes." Tracy took a deep breath and blew it out. " Sarah was a shit. Can't you see that? She never knew who the hell she was or what the hell she wanted. You should know better than to get involved with someone who isn't clear about their sexuality, especially when you are."

" I know, I know. It only leads to trouble. My head tells me you're right, but my heart tells me a different story. I loved her, Tracy. I planned my life around her. I can't switch it off just like that." Dana snapped her fingers in the air.

" But that's just what you need to do. Everyone deserves to be happy, Dana, even you, and you seem to have forgotten that. Please don't pass up this chance for happiness."

" I haven't forgotten a thing and I do want to be happy." Dana felt her eyes fill with tears.

" You're my best friend. I can't bear to see you alone and it breaks my heart to see you avoid relationships. You're too special to be doing that."

Dana gained control over her emotions and blinked away any trace of tears. " You worry about me far too much. I'm happy with the way things are." She went to the sink and filled a huge stock pot. " I like my life and I'm going to drive to the shore on Sunday morning all by myself. That's the way I want it and that's all I can deal with."

" Suit yourself. I guess it's a miracle that you're going at all. Just promise me you'll give some serious thought to what we talked about. You can't go on living in the past."

" Look, Tracy, I'm going, okay? What more do you want? And I intend to have a good time. Right now, I can't think of anything beyond that point."