Act four, scene fourteen

HOGWARTS, CLASSROOM

SCORPIUS and ALBUS run into a room, full of excitement. They slam the door after themselves.

SCORPIUS: I can’t quite believe I did that.

ALBUS: I can’t quite believe you did that either.

SCORPIUS: Rose Granger-Weasley. I asked out Rose Granger-Weasley.

ALBUS: And she said no.

SCORPIUS: But I asked her. I planted the acorn. The acorn that will grow into our eventual marriage.

ALBUS: You are aware that you’re an utter fantasist.

SCORPIUS: And I’d agree with you — only Polly Chapman did ask me to the school ball...

ALBUS: In an alternate reality where you were significantly — really significantly more popular — a different girl asked you out — and that means —

SCORPIUS: And yes, logic would dictate I should be pursuing Polly — or allowing her to pursue me — she’s a notorious beauty, after all — but a Rose is a Rose.

ALBUS: You know logic would dictate that you’re a freak? Rose hates you.

SCORPIUS: Correction, she used to hate me, but did you see the look in her eyes when I asked? That wasn’t hate, that was pity.

ALBUS: And pity’s good?

SCORPIUS: Pity is a start, my friend, a foundation on which to build a palace — a palace of love.

ALBUS: I honestly thought I’d be the first of us to get a girlfriend.

SCORPIUS: Oh, you will, undoubtedly, probably that new smoky-eyed Potions professor — she’s old enough for you, right?

ALBUS: I don’t have a thing about older women!

SCORPIUS: And you’ve got time — a lot of time — to seduce her. Because Rose is going to take years to persuade.

ALBUS: I admire your confidence.

ROSE comes past them on the stairs. She looks at them both.

ROSE: Hi.

Neither boy knows quite how to reply — she looks at SCORPIUS.

This is only going to be weird if you let it be weird.

SCORPIUS: Received and entirely understood.

ROSE: Okay. “Scorpion King.”

She walks off with a smile on her face. SCORPIUS and ALBUS look at each other. ALBUS grins and punches SCORPIUS on the arm.

ALBUS: Maybe you’re right — pity is a start.

SCORPIUS: Are you heading to Quidditch? Slytherin are playing Hufflepuff — it’s a big one —

ALBUS: I thought we hated Quidditch?

SCORPIUS: People can change. Besides, I’ve been practicing. I think I might make the team eventually. Come on.

ALBUS: I can’t. My dad’s arranged to come up —

SCORPIUS: He’s taking time away from the Ministry?

ALBUS: He wants to go on a walk — something to show me — share with me — something.

SCORPIUS: A walk?

ALBUS: I know, I think it’s a bonding thing or something similarly vomit-inducing. Still, you know, I think I’ll go.

SCORPIUS reaches in and hugs ALBUS.

What’s this? I thought we decided we don’t hug.

SCORPIUS: I wasn’t sure. Whether we should. In this new version of us — I had in my head.

ALBUS: Better ask Rose if it’s the right thing to do.

SCORPIUS: Ha! Yeah. Right.

The two boys dislocate and grin at each other.

ALBUS: I’ll see you at dinner.