Cultural Note. Getting to know people from a different culture is not always as easy as getting to know people from one’s own culture

Getting to know people from a different culture is not always as easy as getting to know people from one’s own culture. It takes time and effort to develop cross-cultural relationships. If you want to make contact with people from another culture, you may have to “make the first move”. It includes

- greetings and openings;

- finding a topic for discussion;

- meeting and getting to know others;

- extending invitations;

- visiting;

- closings and farewells.

Where Americans make contact. Some join religious institutions such as churches. Some become involved in community affairs, joining groups, associations and organizations or doing volunteer work. Others join clubs, where they know they’ll meet people with whom they have interests in common. But there are more usual places to make contact. Firstly, it’s your neighborhood which is a place to start, but remember that you may have to be the one to approach your neighbor first. If one of your neighbors seems friendly but you’ve only exchanged greetings, try starting a conversation. Once you’ve had several conversations, extend an invitation. Have that person come into your home for an informal visit. If you work in the day and don’t have much of a chance to talk to neighbors in the day, take a night class in a subject or activity that interest you. Talk to people before class and during the breaks. Remember they may not come to you first. You probably see the same people in the cafeteria or by the coffee machines. Start talking to them. Some may not respond very much; others will respond in a way that tells you they would enjoy talking to you again.

Don’t be discouraged if some of your efforts to make contact are not successful. You can’t always know who will and who won’t be responsive to your attempts to make contacts. Some Americans feel too busy to widen their circle of friends and may simply not want to develop a friendship. Some native-born Americans may appear shy and inexperienced with people from different culture. And there are always some people who do not want to get to know others from different cultures.

Finding people to meet. You might have to actively seek out the type of person that wants to meet people from different culture. For example, at work or at school, you could post a sign offering tutoring in your language (in exchange for English lessons, for example). You could organize a pot-luck dinner for people you work with and in this way, you will probably encourage interest in your culture. (Remember, too, that food provides a good topic of conversation and helps people feel comfortable!). Involvement with people who are interested in your background can lead to contact and interesting relationships. It will probably take awhile to make contact, and especially to make friends, in a new culture. The easiest type of contact is the familiar contact with people from one’s own culture. It’s important to have this familiarity when everything else is different.

In the United States, there are many different kinds of greetings. The way two people greet each other depends on their age, their type of job, the amount of time between their meetings, the area of the country they live in, and so on.

People almost always shake hands the first time they meet in business situations. They use titles (Dr., Mr., Miss, Ms.) at first but they may ask that other people call them by their first names. They don’t shake hands with people they see very often. For example, if they see someone in a business situation only once every ten months, they probably shake hands. If they work with that person every day, they don’t shake hands. They just say “Hi”, “Hello” or “Good morning”.

At a casual (informal) party or social event, people often – but don’t always – shake hands when they meet someone for the first time. In these casual situations, you don’t normally shake hands with people you already know.

If two women (or a man and woman) are friends or relatives who don’t see each other often, they might hug; in addition, they might kiss each other on one cheek (but not on both). However, this custom is more common in some parts of the country than in others. For example, people in California greet each other with a hug more often than people in small Midwestern towns do. This kind of greetings depends on the individual people, too; that is, some people don’t greet others with a hug because it makes them uncomfortable. They are not used to greeting that way.

People who met each other a short time ago don’t usually hug or kiss. Two men hug each other only if they are close friends or relatives who don’t see each other often. However, two men might hug when they are very, very happy about some good news.

Greetings and openings in most languages mean almost the same.

Phrases for Greeting and Responding to Greetings: